The main action of the campaign was the gathering together of shoes, each pair representing a sufferer who was too ill to attend. The shoes were left in a place of prominence to demonstrate the voices and represent people who are missing. Many CFS/ME sufferers cannot travel to an event or are too ill to gather and march, so their cause goes unheard.
This campaign is very much in the manner of Togay and Pauers 'Shoes on the Danube' which highlights the missing. Togay and Pauers’ memorial is a tough and touching remembrance of the 3,500 people who were murdered by the militiamen of the extreme fascist Arrow Cross party on the banks of the Danube. They were shot and their bodies allowed to fall into the waters of the river.
Shoes on the Danube' Pauper 2005
The Millions Missing campaign only happens once a year and I felt that it did not highlight the plight of sufferers enough. I conceived this work as my Assignment submission based on my own activism and to highlight my anger and frustration at missing out on large portions of my own life.
Each pair of shoes shown in the series represents part of my life which has been impacted by CFS and gives voice to my sadness and frustration at the lack of help received from either the public, the health services or the government. Just like clothes, the shoes were chosen to serve the different aspects to my life.
I broke my ideas down into groups and made selections on the basis of what the final image would look like and whether it would be physically possible for me to actually get to the locations, set up the props and photograph the scene that I wanted. My ideas focused on Work, Health, Politics, Travel and Home life. I then struck down some notes and ideas for composition and made arrangements to go to each location.
I had help travelling around from location scouting and snapping ideas, sitting thinking and then compositing and constructing the scene. In some cases my ideas did not work and I felt that they lacked the impact and the emotional factors that I wanted.
I have decided to present them as part of the research work that I undertook in effort to complete the assignment submission.
Work
Here work boots sit outside one of the locations where I used to work to represent me as a worker; a valuable member of society. It was during my time with this employer that my condition started. As my symptoms began showing themselves, I tried to continue working as normal; going ‘above and beyond’ regularly due to the demands of the job, but this impacted other aspects of my life. My home life suffered because my work/life balance was tipped heavily to work. I was too fatigued at weekends and holidays to get out of bed and enjoy other activities. When the company was no longer receiving what it felt was a satisfactory level of service, I was given a choice take medical severance or have my contract of work terminated. I took the first option.
My own story is only one of many where sufferers of Fibromyalgia (FM)/CFS/ME have lost their jobs through no fault of their own. We have been used and discarded like old work boots; thrown to one side and ignored as we are past our best
Tightly framed, the boots sit in the lower third of the scene, slightly off centre. The image is cropped so that the boots sit right in the foreground and the towering building is pushed off into the background, lessening its height and influence on the scene. The only bright colour in the scene is the trailers in the midground which although also abandoned, look as if they are patiently waiting to be put to use, unlike the boots which are worn out and discarded.
I broke my ideas down into groups and made selections on the basis of what the final image would look like and whether it would be physically possible for me to actually get to the locations, set up the props and photograph the scene that I wanted. My ideas focused on Work, Health, Politics, Travel and Home life. I then struck down some notes and ideas for composition and made arrangements to go to each location.
I had help travelling around from location scouting and snapping ideas, sitting thinking and then compositing and constructing the scene. In some cases my ideas did not work and I felt that they lacked the impact and the emotional factors that I wanted.
I have decided to present them as part of the research work that I undertook in effort to complete the assignment submission.
Work
Here work boots sit outside one of the locations where I used to work to represent me as a worker; a valuable member of society. It was during my time with this employer that my condition started. As my symptoms began showing themselves, I tried to continue working as normal; going ‘above and beyond’ regularly due to the demands of the job, but this impacted other aspects of my life. My home life suffered because my work/life balance was tipped heavily to work. I was too fatigued at weekends and holidays to get out of bed and enjoy other activities. When the company was no longer receiving what it felt was a satisfactory level of service, I was given a choice take medical severance or have my contract of work terminated. I took the first option.
My own story is only one of many where sufferers of Fibromyalgia (FM)/CFS/ME have lost their jobs through no fault of their own. We have been used and discarded like old work boots; thrown to one side and ignored as we are past our best
Tightly framed, the boots sit in the lower third of the scene, slightly off centre. The image is cropped so that the boots sit right in the foreground and the towering building is pushed off into the background, lessening its height and influence on the scene. The only bright colour in the scene is the trailers in the midground which although also abandoned, look as if they are patiently waiting to be put to use, unlike the boots which are worn out and discarded.
The eye is drawn first to the boots, battered from heavy use. The leather has moulded to the wearer, creased where laces have been tied, showing they were comfortable and travelled long distances before they were put away.
We ask ourselves why were the boots not replaced; was the level of comfort higher than paying the price of discomfort in breaking in a new pair; was the owner too poor to replace them or were they worn as a badge of honour stating that the owner has worked their time but is not ready to be discarded.
Health
One of the treatments forced upon me was Graded Exercise Therapy. This treatment is now felt to be a discredited primary intervention treatment due to its long term 'harmful effects and lack of substantiated evidence of its efficacy, and the legitimacy of the worldwide debunked of the flawed PACE Trial' (Millions Missing press release, 2017). This was not the opinion of my care team when it was prescribed for me.
Health
One of the treatments forced upon me was Graded Exercise Therapy. This treatment is now felt to be a discredited primary intervention treatment due to its long term 'harmful effects and lack of substantiated evidence of its efficacy, and the legitimacy of the worldwide debunked of the flawed PACE Trial' (Millions Missing press release, 2017). This was not the opinion of my care team when it was prescribed for me.
As stated in my learning log the GET sessions have made things worse for me and now live in chronic pain. I can no longer walk down stairs with ease and cannot enjoy any form of exercise without pain, fatigue or worry.
In this image, the empty trainers descend the stairway, travelling down into the scene. They sit central to the scene, the railings and the shadows framing the shoes, pushing in from either side to bring in a tight frame. The shoes are almost insignificant to the length of the stairs. They push into the frame highlighting the challenge that someone with mobility issues sees every time they come across a set of steps. To them it can be as much of a challenge as climbing a mountain. The shoes sit as if they have been dropped, forgotten about. Once again, they are slightly worn but still of use.
I took an alternative image of the trainers abandoned in the grass in front of my local leisure centre, but was unhappy with the image. It did not have the same impact as I was unable to find a suitable frame under the trees that surround the centre, nor avoid the dappling light.
Home Life
As I have mentioned, in my attempts to keep contributing fully at work, other aspects of my life suffered. I was too fatigued and the pain too great to allow me to help at home much, spending much of the weekend sleeping to recoup enough energy for the next week. My wife and I stopped going out as travelling any distance caused too much discomfort. When I did have a ‘good day’ I would inevitably overexert myself to make up for what I saw as failure, and then suffer the consequences for several days afterwards. So guilt and frustration were added to my symptoms.
This image is of formal shoes sitting on the mat, outside the front door. Shoes like this should be partnered by a pair of women’s smart shoes – maybe high heeled courts or colourful flats, waiting for a happy couple to put them on and enjoy life. The fact that there is no second pair suggests a possibly broken relationship, where one half is absent; all dressed up and no-one to go anywhere with.
Politics / Social Activism / Making one’s Voice Heard
As I have already mentioned, I chose this topic as part of my activism to raise the profile of my condition, and those like it – FM, CFS, ME and other ‘non-visible’ disabilities. Mental Health has been the subject of several high profile campaigns in recent years and the public is now much more aware of this (if not necessarily better informed). Unfortunately, with the Missing Millions campaign only lasting one day, it quickly disappears from notice once the day’s events are over.
My intention for this shot was a pair of shoes made for walking / marching in front of the Scottish Parliament building, to depict the fact that suffers are unable to travel to this venue to speak to ministers, to put their cases to the people, or indeed to rally and raise awareness.
Without people to speak up for the cause, it becomes forgotten, like the sufferers, to be left on the sidelines. I toyed with the idea of allowing a long exposure to capture ghosted images of all of the other people coming and going while the shoes remained static on the path. Unfortunately, the day on which I was able to obtain help to travel to the location, it was not particularly busy and most of the people outside were tourists or families playing in the grounds rather than active participants, hurrying to take action on this or that matter. I chose instead to allow the shoes and the location to tell the story.
In this image, the empty trainers descend the stairway, travelling down into the scene. They sit central to the scene, the railings and the shadows framing the shoes, pushing in from either side to bring in a tight frame. The shoes are almost insignificant to the length of the stairs. They push into the frame highlighting the challenge that someone with mobility issues sees every time they come across a set of steps. To them it can be as much of a challenge as climbing a mountain. The shoes sit as if they have been dropped, forgotten about. Once again, they are slightly worn but still of use.
I took an alternative image of the trainers abandoned in the grass in front of my local leisure centre, but was unhappy with the image. It did not have the same impact as I was unable to find a suitable frame under the trees that surround the centre, nor avoid the dappling light.
Home Life
As I have mentioned, in my attempts to keep contributing fully at work, other aspects of my life suffered. I was too fatigued and the pain too great to allow me to help at home much, spending much of the weekend sleeping to recoup enough energy for the next week. My wife and I stopped going out as travelling any distance caused too much discomfort. When I did have a ‘good day’ I would inevitably overexert myself to make up for what I saw as failure, and then suffer the consequences for several days afterwards. So guilt and frustration were added to my symptoms.
This image is of formal shoes sitting on the mat, outside the front door. Shoes like this should be partnered by a pair of women’s smart shoes – maybe high heeled courts or colourful flats, waiting for a happy couple to put them on and enjoy life. The fact that there is no second pair suggests a possibly broken relationship, where one half is absent; all dressed up and no-one to go anywhere with.
Politics / Social Activism / Making one’s Voice Heard
As I have already mentioned, I chose this topic as part of my activism to raise the profile of my condition, and those like it – FM, CFS, ME and other ‘non-visible’ disabilities. Mental Health has been the subject of several high profile campaigns in recent years and the public is now much more aware of this (if not necessarily better informed). Unfortunately, with the Missing Millions campaign only lasting one day, it quickly disappears from notice once the day’s events are over.
My intention for this shot was a pair of shoes made for walking / marching in front of the Scottish Parliament building, to depict the fact that suffers are unable to travel to this venue to speak to ministers, to put their cases to the people, or indeed to rally and raise awareness.
Without people to speak up for the cause, it becomes forgotten, like the sufferers, to be left on the sidelines. I toyed with the idea of allowing a long exposure to capture ghosted images of all of the other people coming and going while the shoes remained static on the path. Unfortunately, the day on which I was able to obtain help to travel to the location, it was not particularly busy and most of the people outside were tourists or families playing in the grounds rather than active participants, hurrying to take action on this or that matter. I chose instead to allow the shoes and the location to tell the story.
Travel
The final shot in my selection was to be of a pair of cowboy boots in front of a bus stop. Initially I had intended to take this shot at night, to signify the missing social life as well as transport, but timing and a worsening of my symptoms meant I was unable to take advantage of any good weather in the evening to attempt this. I also decided latterly that one night shot in a set of day shots would seem out of place. In the end, I decided that the shoes at the bus-stop would sufficiently represent the inherent problems for those with pain or mobility issues and once again, the inability of the public, or lack of desire, to acknowledge these problems and help. I had seen number of articles on the news describing the abuse received by people with mobility issues trying ot gain access to public transport. I wanted my image to represent the unfairness. [Guardian 2004] [Sun, 2017]
The final shot in my selection was to be of a pair of cowboy boots in front of a bus stop. Initially I had intended to take this shot at night, to signify the missing social life as well as transport, but timing and a worsening of my symptoms meant I was unable to take advantage of any good weather in the evening to attempt this. I also decided latterly that one night shot in a set of day shots would seem out of place. In the end, I decided that the shoes at the bus-stop would sufficiently represent the inherent problems for those with pain or mobility issues and once again, the inability of the public, or lack of desire, to acknowledge these problems and help. I had seen number of articles on the news describing the abuse received by people with mobility issues trying ot gain access to public transport. I wanted my image to represent the unfairness. [Guardian 2004] [Sun, 2017]
I encountered a couple of unexpected issues with this shot. The first was that, although this was taken ina relatively quiet street, I had to stand in the road to get the right framing and kept having to move to avoid being run over. Second was the fact that the cowboy boots were affected by even the slightest breeze, causing blurring. As it was too dangerous to set up in the middle of the road and halt traffic I had to look for alternative angles and positions for composition.
It took some time to capture the shot I wanted and I was particularly fatigued and sore when I was through.
References
Press Release of the Campaign - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OfgCBag8SE39e43nDFajeAK8igWMKWTx1gAgXrLl5bs/edit
ME Research. 2017. Energising ME Research. [ONLINE] Available at: http://www.meresearch.org.uk/. [Accessed 17 August 2017].
Guardian. 2017. Disabled man forced off bus by refusal to move pram sparks equality test case. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/nov/11/disabled-man-forced-off-bus-refusal-move-pram-sparks-equality-test-case. [Accessed 17 August 2017].
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